The Roommate

Like all (or most) unwed people in their mid- twenties, I am forced to share a living space with a roommate. Luckily, I live with one of my oldest and closest friends. He and I have been there for each other in some of the darkest times of our respective lives. He is easy to live with, clean and owns all the furniture in the apartment.

I have lived with some DISASTERS in the past. There was Lana, who was ACTUALLY crazy, demanding fresh flowers each week, dinner together "like a family," and a real Christmas tree (even though I'm allergic to pine and she would be home in Alberta for the Holidays). I spent a year sleeping in a tent/fort in the living room of an apartment shared with two straight guys with no concept of cleanliness (one of them even whored out my futon for sex during a party and then lied about it - I found out what happened a month later when I found a used condom under my bed - trust me, it wasn't mine).

But Dan (do I have a Dan? I think I do...) Rex (ugh, fake names are hard)is fairly drama free.

Fairly.

A few months ago, Rex complained of not having had sex in a while. This he comes by honesty. We live in the straightest, whitest suburb EVER. I mean, I've never seen white people oppress other white people before until I moved here. Anyway, I suggested maybe using the Internet as a way to meet other guys in the area for some fun. I've heard of this having positive results in the past.

I was WRONG!!

Positive results? In a way...

Rex is extremely popular. Rarely a week goes by without a visit from "Craig" ("Craig" is what we call the rando's he picks up from Craigslist. Clever, I know).

Though this solution to Rex's problem of getting laid seems to have worked to meet his basic needs, I worry about him. On one night, for instance, I knew that "Craig" was paying a visit and I was politely asked to vacate the apartment for a few hours. In fact, I was told that a few Craigs would be stopping by. Not wanting to know too many details, I didn't ask any questions and left. At some point during the evening, my phone died. I didn't have any way to contact Rex to ask for the A-OK to come home, so I waited what I thought to be enough time and went home.

I did not wait long enough.

I knew I was too early when I walked into the small orgy happening all over my living room.

We've seen less of Craig recently. I think maybe Rex has had enough anonymous fun and is ready for some quality over quantity.

I'm just grateful that all the furniture is his.